Love: The Most Effective Stress Buster

Life's stresses are inevitable. These disturbing negativities lower our self-esteem and the dynamic power to succeed in everything that we are doing and about to accomplish. There are many prescribed antidotes against stress. But, the easiest and unique way to combat stress for good is the power of love. According to Susan Johnson, a notable researcher healthy intimate relationships reduce the incidence of stress and its different types. She was able to prove this when Johnson conducted an experimental study in treating traumatic patients at the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. What are stressors and its diverse types? Stressors are events which trigger the feelings of being stressed. Additionally. these are trivial annoyances that we are experiencing each day, A classic example is the immortal  traffic jam. Psychologically, these are aptly termed as ordinary stressors. If these undesirable situations will be a part of your existence every single day, depression and anxiety sets forth.

Love is the most powerful stress buster. 

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Traumatic types are classified as serious and extraordinary due to the ill-effects of natural disasters. These are one time events which cause Post Traumatic Syndrome. Meanwhile, if  unpleasant events  are happening  all over again a Complex Post Traumatic Syndrome enters your system  like a thief in the night. Similarly, child traumas fall under the attribution of codependency, coined by Pia Melody and the other advocates of codependency movement.  Whatever your stressors are, love and your type of intimate relationship has a major impact on your emotional and physiological well-being. For example, a happy marriage leads to a  better physical and mental health. On the contrary, unhappy marital union gives rise to depression and anxiety.

Power of love is the most potent cure to depression and anxiety.

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Love promotes longevity among married couples because of the emotional support  freely given to one another. Traumatic stressors have been miraculously cured by a loving heart with this very effective contextual truth according to Johnson.

“Most of all, we know that your resilience to trauma and your ability to cope with trauma are linked to the quality of your most intimate relationships.” 

Love conquers all things.

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Johnson and her couple therapy approach is specially designed for those who have been victims of PTSD. Among them are police authorities, firemen and veterinarians. For couples, she had brilliantly devised some natural techniques to heal relationships and she said that the best healing ever discovered is 

The natural place to heal from trauma is the arms of someone you love”.

Lover's arms provides a secure attachment. 

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Love and a secure attachment to a special person in your life hinder the development of PTSD in the long run. Victims of this psychological problem particularly children should have a loving relationship when they grow up to be completely healed from their horrible experiences in the past. Going back, couples should help one another by having a non-codependent partner who will nurture the relationship through couple therapy. To sum up, married couples must be  able to relate with one another perfectly to attain their desired objectives in improving their own unique individuality. Consequently, couple therapy will be able to restore  broken and wounded unions after several sessions. 

Simple Ways of How to Hurdle Fears of Inevitable Failures

You are not human, if failures do not haunt your happy life. When anyone fell short of high expectations, he or she becomes very depressed and uneasy about the whole thing. On the other hand. some people are trying to escape from the situation by consciously avoiding it the best way that they can. What about you? Do you feel helpless when fears of  inevitable failures are destroying your self-conviction to drastically find your way out inside a dark tunnel filled with anxieties? If you said yes to all my hypothetical questions; then it is time to change your inner perspectives to keep you going and be successful in your own right.

Conquer your fear of irrational failures to succeed.

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Fears of inevitable failures are our conscious behaviors to fall short of expectations in consonance with varying performance standards at work, in school, interpersonal dealings and so much more. Logically, exceeding a required standard entails a positive outcome and vice versa. A person's failure leads to secondary procrastination. To explain we opt to delay something vital where we presume that we are bound to be unsuccessful. However, these silly fears can be eradicated by perceiving our negative feelings as rooms for self-improvement to discover lots of things and possibilities in the long run. Analyze critically about what is  happening to you right now. This easy technique known as thought experimenting, paves the way for you on what to emphasize in your life and leave those negative scenarios behind.

Thought experimenting allows you to discover the different scenarios to avoid.

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Below, are the viable ways to strategically solve your fears of invincible failures step by step.

1. Presume that you are a scientist. Test all possible ideas to find out the best solution to your challenging problems. To explain, trials are acid tests before you can have a clearer picture of  your chosen solution.
2. Start asking yourself a very catchy question. "What were those past actions that I had taken to resolve delicate and critical issues like fears of invincible failures?"
3. Always remember this. Develop the habit of learning, that there are variations and unexpected fluctuations in your day-to-day tasks to avoid disappointments.
4. Accept the fact that failures are self-improvement road maps. These are useful tactics to motivate other people and yourself, to be optimistic about today and the future.

Accept failures to improve your unique self.

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Fears of invincible failures are magnificent platforms toward the advancement of personal interests where anxieties and thwarted goals or aspirations are not big deals at all to have a fruitful life.

Life's Gut- Busting Lessons to Ponder and Live By with a Smile

Fruitful and life's gut-busting lessons could dynamically transform yourself into an amazing person with a grateful heart. Shape your heart and mind by being open to the challenging invitations as they come. In  other words, do not be afraid to be spontaneous about everything. Spontaneity is the best antidote against your senseless fears and nonsense habits. It opens new doors to both creativity and the inner happiness you earnestly deserve. This is your undaunted and positive response to any undertaking to help you develop and use your unique experiential gain. In addition, goals are successfully completed through exploration and experimentation. Thus, our varied experiences whether good or bad must be enjoyed to the fullest. Always nurture the value of being spontaneous because its a larger than life form of realization.-To expect good things each day like a big surprise.

Spontaneity is to accept every opportunity without any fear.

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Never hold back drastic changes in life which  encompass full commitment. This is just a matter of self-correcting our wayward attitudes and behaviors.  However, we might fell short on our  attempts about behavior modifications. To begin the strategic applications of  life's gut busting lessons, face, conquer and  let go of your fears with a strong conviction. Next, each one of  us should learn and appreciate the values of compulsion in its very practical context. Do not cease to discover anything in this world to foster the deepest satisfaction in life. Do not be upset  to learn new and wonderful things. Compulsion resonates both creation and discovery to make our life exciting and worth living.

Compulsion is the steering wheel of creation and discovery.

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None of us are exceptions to adversities. The insightful life's gut busting lessons teach us how to accept adversities and then make peace with them to live and be happy for a lifetime. Be realistic in solving all your issues, by accepting this bittersweet truth that it is too impossible for us to control things sometimes. Accept these inevitables of our existence to free us from stresses and depression. Liberate ourselves from negativities to change our focus of attention. Practice self-compassion every single moment of our journey. Speak kindly to ourselves from the time we woke up. This will be an enriching avenue to perceive positive outcomes in life today and in the not so distant future.

Self-compassion is speaking kindly to yourself.

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One helpful hint to my unguarded temperament is to do away with unnecessary overreactions and diligently practice with its opposite- UNDERREACTING. Analyze those bad and  happy moments and its consequences. Then, think of them as blessings in disguise. Above all these, you must remember that troubles will come and go. However, these baggages do not leave us for good. Problems are mental exercises which make us stronger, faithful to God and  in our self-commitment to succeed in any area of our temporary journey here on earth. Finally,one of  life's gut busting lessons that will make us happy each day is to STOP WORRYING. We all know, that it is not easy to do. But, have you ever realized that it is a DEADLY POISON FOR A BRIGHT FUTURE? Worries about the next ten years of life is time wasting. Live for today and your future will be more abundant, peaceful and worth living.

The Psychological Rudiments of Perfectionism

Some people have perceived perfectionism as a positive character trait. It is one of the  secret formulas of success. But, it has become as a self-defeating belief which makes it more difficult to attain what we really desire. Exploring this detrimental attitude is the subject matter of our worth-reading blog today. This is often justified by many as a healthy behavior. According to Brenel Brown, a writer and researcher he said.

"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth."

 Perfectionism is justified as a healthy behavior.

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Perfectionism might be one of your attributes of which you are not aware of. What are its tell tale signs? 

• Unable to accomplish a task unless it can be done without flaws.
• Focuses less on a learning process, the results are more important than an applied methodology.
• An undertaking is not yet done until it is indeed perfect to the letter.
• Tendency to procrastinate at times, to ensure a perfect byproduct. 
• Needs more time to finish a project than others.

A perfectionist wants a task to be very detailed to the letter.

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There are two types of perfectionism. The healthy and unhealthy one. To differentiate, a healthy perfectionist is a person with a strong motivational force behind an achievement. It features an innate need of successful people  particularly athletes, celebrities and the likes. On the other hand, its opposite is self-destructive in nature. It is a conflicting attitude between productivity and being obsessive. Do you consciously do these things without reservations? Read on and ponder? Well, if you do, you tend to be a perfectionist.

1. Spending almost 30 minutes in writing a two-sentence email.
2. Two mistakes in a given exam is a sign of failure.
3. Unhappiness sets in, when others become successful.
4. Unrealistic comparison with others' achievements. 
5. Avoidance in playing a game with peers; instead, tries a new activity to show that he or she is perfect.

Deadlines have to be met by a perfectionist all the time.

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What are the specific domains of perfectionism? Perfectionists are commonly found in a workplace. school, intimate relationships, hygiene and health, speaking or writing as well as one's physical appearance. Anyone who considers himself as flawless or prolific, has been influenced by these factors:

1. Frequent fear of disappointment from others.
2. Mental health issues like the presence of an obsessive compulsive disorder.
3. Parents who are manifesting a perfectionist behavior.
4. Troubled attachment with parents.
5. Insecurities.

Perfectionism is triggered by disappointments and insecurities. 

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Although this not normal according to psychologists, hone perfectionism based on its healthy benefits. First, do not get stressed about potential mistakes.  Everybody commits mistakes, right? However, learn how to evaluate the gravity of your errors according to a given task and then study the outcome that you desire to get rid of stress. Always see to it that everything is balanced. Quality and efficiency should work harmoniously to produce a desired output.

Perfection should not get in the way of your work efficiency.

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Focus on your effort and forget about perfectionism. Refrain from perfecting tasks by going beyond your capacities and limitations. Develop a creative idea or provide some perspective analysis to attain uniqueness in whatever you do. Do not feel ashamed to commit more mistakes because these are nice avenues for self-improvement. Remember this. Being too perfect does not lead to better things all the time. God is the only one who is perfect and we can never ever change this absolute reality.

The How to Facts of Child Discipline

Child rearing is one of the most challenging journeys of a fruitful parenthood. Parents have different ways of child discipline based on the perceptions of effectiveness and cultural roots. But, the core of its fair and holistic imposition is to teach their children about what is right or wrong in terms of objective judgement and untainted morality. It is an action or inaction which aims to regulate behaviors to attain certain accords or agreements with a particular system of governance. These are sets of expectation which are the requisites by any entity including self-groups, classes, fields, industries or societies. Its enriching history had emanated from the Victorian Era. From then on, the widespread use of a disciplinarian governance in children was strictly implemented during the ancient times.

Victorian Era discipline.

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Traditional children discipline involves diverse techniques like time, responsibility and physical punishment.  To briefly describe, a time form or technique of discipline makes use of time as a regulator and governor in its strictest sense. The main objective of this type of regulation is how to use time efficiently. Each activity is governed with a time boundary. Wise time management is applied to promote skills organization and behavior modifications to ensure alliance with time-related deadlines. This has no consequence on the overall personality of children.

Time discipline uses time as boundaries.

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A responsibility-based discipline is common among organizations, to gain a better understanding about the possible solutions to company problems. Meanwhile, the physical punishment mode of discipline is focused on inflicting physical pains through spanking, slapping and hitting with an object to instill the dire consequences of a wrongdoing. Child discipline is a moral obligation to have a well- behaved being as he or she grows old. To follow these basic rules, role models are essential. During a child's formative years, these rules have to seriously imposed. Over the years, your children will be more productive during adulthood. However, the kind of discipline solely depends on the parents of a kid. Below, are different parent types and the kinds of discipline that they impose at home.

Scolding to discipline is seldom used by modern-day parents 

to avoid upsetting their child.

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1. Permissive child discipline- A parenting style with low demands and high responsiveness. Parents are loving who impose few house rules or guidelines on their children. A matured behavior is not a basic requirement. In other words, their parents act as best friends.
2. Authoritarian child discipline- High demands from parents but with a low responsiveness rate. Also, the presence of high expectations from their children becomes inevitable. Similarly, feedback and nurturance are less felt. Mistakes are realized through harsh punishments.
3. Positive or negative reinforcement child discipline- Comprised of a good or negative punishment to understand the vicious cycles of breaking human rules.
4. Positive reinforcement- Appropriate use of rewards for good behaviors. These are in the forms of giving them treats, praises and by pointing out their progress in any undertaking.
5. Grounding child discipline-No special privileges are allowed like video games or use of mobile phones. Experts say that this is not an effective form of punishment.
6. Natural punishment child discipline- A self-realization method wherein children are free to explore the effects of their negative behaviors. 
7. Corporal child discipline- Characterized as good sometimes. But, its extremes are abusive in form and mind.

Corporal punishment in children is still a sensational debate 

among psychologists and modern parents.

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Child discipline perfectly moulds your kids into morally upright citizens, who are constantly guided by a sense of compassion, balance and enlightenment through role modeling. Parents should not do away with the traditional  approaches of child rearing because these are the primal rudiments of a well-balanced personality, which is governed by functional moral values then and now.

Shopping Addiction: The Psychological Insights

Rings of various types and designs gratify my aesthetic fancies whenever I see them on online shopping websites. These elegant accessories provide me with inexpressible bliss whenever I wore them during my younger years. Unfortunately, some of these had gone to oblivion for special reasons. Up to now, it is an irresistible fetish which I have to figure out if shopping addiction has caught me unaware wayback from my adolescence. Based on recent studies by the American Psychiatric Association, DSM-5 or the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Health Disorders 5, being a shopaholic is not medically characterized as a mental disorder. Compulsive buying such as shopping is best described as an intense preoccupation in purchasing, measured by its frequency and the uncontrollable urge to shop. Although i can still control it. my burning passion to acquire  splendid rings never left my creative mind. Here are the signs and symptoms which could have had  haunted me at times to become an iconic queen of fashion.

Jewelry addiction is a form of compulsive buying.

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The prominent signs and symptoms of shopping addiction are:

• Spending more time in thinking about what to buy.
• Anxious prior to  purchases.
• Feeling of relief or euphoria after buying the items.
• Guilt or shame after feels 

Jewelries provide comfort and ultimate satisfaction in my life.

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Researchers say that almost 90% of women are affected with shopping addiction than men. Societal norms and gender factors  have significant roles in the demographics of different behavioral problems. Also, the age factor is a culprit of an addiction's early manifestation  particularly during teenage years.  Generally, a behavioral problem like collecting jewelries refers to an overall state of being which affects your health and wellness to some extent. These are brought about by conscious decisions which could not control the urge despite its detrimental effects. How do you become a shopping addict? Read the subsequent sections.

Compulsive buying is a conscious decision to desire something to gratify your wants.

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Shopping is an enjoyable activity which is functional for our economy and it is sometimes a reinforced behavior due to the presence of rewards. It emanates from our brain's reward center which includes the process of item browsing and final purchasing steps. Shopping addiction experts say that you might be prone to this behavioral issue if you belong to a family with mental illnesses and substance abuse addiction. 

Shopping addiction occurs when a person is suffering from anxiety and depression. 

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Also, people who are depressed could fall into the prey of compulsive shopping. Likewise, the  tag compulsive shopper usually belongs to a young woman with low educational attainment. Some shoppers who belong under this classification are commonly depressed, anxious and self-conscious.  Shopping addiction is their way of dealing with negative emotions. People self-medicate themselves by shopping, to temporarily forget about their psychological problems. The common signs and  symptoms of being a mall addict  are as follows:

• Anticipation- This is the urge to  shop and it runs in your mind without end.
• Preparation- Involves the plan of using credit cards, what to wear and buy together with the location of your spending spree.
• Shopping- An intense feeling of excitement sets in while going around a mall.
• Spending- Final phase of your act to purchase what you want, mixed feelings between euphoria and disappointment after the whole process has been finally accomplished.

Shopping addicts have a euphoric feeling while doing this compensatory activity.

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Shopping addiction does not integrate itself with individual wealth. If you are unable to curtail it, financial and marital issues might arise. To address this strain in your lifestyle, cognitive behavioral therapy is deemed necessary. This is a group or single mode of treatment which deals with identification of problematic thought patterns. In this scientific approach, a therapist teaches a client how to question destructive thoughts or ideas and their effects on a client's behaviors and emotions. After which the strategic applications of self-defeating techniques are being done. The core of CBT is to cope up with depression in a non-stressful manner. Debtors Anonymous, a famous support group has a 12-step program on how to stop unnecessary spending gradually. 

Shopping addiction can be treated by cognitive behavioral therapy.

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The lure and curse of shopping addiction have not yet engulfed my gracious nature. I have  patiently trained and motivated myself to live within my means despite of being an Imelda Marcos alter ego in many splendid ways.

Overcoming Laziness and to Ensure Personal Productivity: How to Tips

We all feel idle everyday. It is in our system and psychological constitution. Laziness is defined as a deliberate state of passivity to do nothing and it is the less utilization of effort in any form. To conquer this negative behavior, we need to think about the three essentials of a happy and contented life. Be efficient in doing your tasks, live your temporal existence to the fullest and attain an ideal image of success while doing your best to make it happen. Here are some tips on how to keep yourself preoccupied  everyday.

Idleness is just a state of mind.

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Breakdown your workloads into smaller tasks. Doing so, will lessen its level of difficulty because the approach would require less effort. Apply this method to your future goals as well. In essence, laziness will never haunt you for good.  Do not forget to modify your healthy lifestyle habits: Eat a balanced diet, sleep and exercise. Pamper your body with fresh air. Overcome the dangers of procrastination by developing your sense of decisiveness in all your day-to-day undertakings. 

Laziness affects your decision making skills.

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Use your willpower to gain perseverance and finish a given task or project on or before the deadline. Therefore, laziness will not create a distracting effect on you wherever you are. Being inactive is due  to the lack of motivation. Affirm to yourself that you can do the job, no matter how nerve wrecking these are. Think about the positive outcomes if you will promise to yourself that you will be as industrious as your superiors. Do not get swayed  by the challenges and difficulties which lie ahead. These lead to discouragement, non-action and avoidance; thereby, affecting your future benefits and other job-related rewards like promotions.

Idleness delays your benefits from your job.

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Ponder about the negative results or consequences of laziness. This kind of introspection would pump up your adrenaline and compel you to act accordingly. Do tasks one at a time. Treat your job as mental and physical exercises. Did you ever realize that your daily workload fosters a strong mind, body and it sets in a tone of success? Lastly, read the worth emulating success stories of famous people who amazingly made their dreams come true by working hard like busy bees.

Laziness is next to nothingness in life.

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Laziness must be transformed into doable visualizations to overcome an inner resistance which gives us a hard time in doing what is expected of us.